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Size does Matter in Heaven!

Three men died and went to heaven. Upon their arrival, St. Peter asked the first if he had been faithful to his wife. The man admitted to two affairs during his marriage. St. Peter told him that he...

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Bill Clinton and the Pope

It so happens that the Pope and Bill Clinton died at the same time. There was a mix-up, and the Pope was sent to Hell and Clinton went to Heaven. Of course, Satan immediately realized the error. He was...

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Bill Gates goes to Hell

Bill Gates died in a car accident. He found himself in Purgatory being sized up by God… “Well, Bill, I’m really confused on this call. I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you...

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Time to Live

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she  Asked “Is my time up?” God said, “No, you have...

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Queen Elizabeth & Dolly Parton go to Heaven

Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go  before an Angel to find out if they’ll be admitted to Heaven. Unfortunately, there is only one space left that day, so the Angel...

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Meeting in Heaven

1st woman :     Hi! My name is Wanda 2nd woman :    Hi! I’m Kelly. How’d you die? 1st woman :     I froze to Death. 2nd woman :    How horrible! 1st woman :     It wasn’t so bad. After I quit shaking...

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The Cat in Heaven Joke

A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said, ‘You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking.’ The cat thought for a minute and then said, ‘All...

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Sex after Death

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all. After a long life together,...

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Christmas Eve in Heaven Joke

Three  men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at  the pearly gates. ‘In honor of this holy season’  Saint Peter said,  ‘You must each possess something  that symbolizes Christmas to get...

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Getting Old and Going to Heaven

Tony and Yvonne were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years.  Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because Tony watched  their pennies. Though not young, they were both in...

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Golf in Heaven

Two 70-year-old men had been friends all of their lives. When it was clear that Frank was dying, Joe visited him every day. One day Joe said, “Frank, we both loved playing golf all our lives, and we...

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Bill Clinton and the Pope

It so happens that the Pope and Bill Clinton died at the same time. There was a mix-up, and the Pope was sent to Hell and Clinton went to Heaven. Of course, Satan immediately realized the error. He was...

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Christmas Eve at the Pearly Gates! A Dirty Christmas Joke

Three  men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at  the pearly gates. “In honor of this holy season”  Saint Peter said,  “You must each possess something  that symbolizes Christmas to get...

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Donald Trump God Joke

Obama, Hillary and Trump are standing at the throne of heaven. God looks at them and says, “Before granting you a place at my side, I must ask you what you have learned, what you believe in.” God asks...

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Saint Peter’s Crazy Day

“I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed.  She claimed she had just gotten out of the shower. Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry too.  I knew she...

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